Locky JonnsChinese New Year
March 12th 2008 15:01
Don’t worry, you’re not in the rough Afghanistan neighborhood of Basra. They are all fireworks and everybody loves it. For 14 days straight the celebrations continue and then if that’s not enough the night after they have a ‘Chap Goh Meh ’, a random extra night, just to make sure you have had an adequate dose of fireworks.
People of Chinese decent with fireworks is very comparable to the middle class white Australian males with blowjobs. Doesn’t matter how good the last one was or how many you have had in recent times, they are always ready and willing for one more.
I went to this bar and when they serve a tequila shot they put salt around the top of the glass and just throw in the lemon in. I wasn’t too happy about this and I showed the barman my version with the salt on the hand etc. He said he would pay for all the drinks if I showed other peoplei n the bar how to do it. I didn’t think of it at the time but cruising around long enough showing how to do these tequila shots gets you rather messed up. Mixing me with tequila is like injecting ecstasy to the vein of one of an Asians on one of those time zone dance machines.
I only did two really stupid things. I was in a dance club called Soho and I gave my Chinese buddy Edison a shoulder ride on the dance floor only to realize I was standing under the ceiling fan. Didn’t faze me but it caused some serious damage to his head.
On the way out of the club there were this Bumi purata (Indigenous Malays) tough guys wanting to show the white guy who was boss. Everyone in the beer garden, gathered around and the biggest, scaryiest most ripped guy offers to arm wrestle on the table. I tried to play it tough and started singing and shouting kinda getting the crowd involved. However, those who know me well know that competing with me in an arm wrestle would be like throwing your handbag over your shoulder. So I completely let down my country and race and walked off with my wasted, tequila smelling tale between my legs.
People of Chinese decent with fireworks is very comparable to the middle class white Australian males with blowjobs. Doesn’t matter how good the last one was or how many you have had in recent times, they are always ready and willing for one more.
I went to this bar and when they serve a tequila shot they put salt around the top of the glass and just throw in the lemon in. I wasn’t too happy about this and I showed the barman my version with the salt on the hand etc. He said he would pay for all the drinks if I showed other peoplei n the bar how to do it. I didn’t think of it at the time but cruising around long enough showing how to do these tequila shots gets you rather messed up. Mixing me with tequila is like injecting ecstasy to the vein of one of an Asians on one of those time zone dance machines.
I only did two really stupid things. I was in a dance club called Soho and I gave my Chinese buddy Edison a shoulder ride on the dance floor only to realize I was standing under the ceiling fan. Didn’t faze me but it caused some serious damage to his head.
On the way out of the club there were this Bumi purata (Indigenous Malays) tough guys wanting to show the white guy who was boss. Everyone in the beer garden, gathered around and the biggest, scaryiest most ripped guy offers to arm wrestle on the table. I tried to play it tough and started singing and shouting kinda getting the crowd involved. However, those who know me well know that competing with me in an arm wrestle would be like throwing your handbag over your shoulder. So I completely let down my country and race and walked off with my wasted, tequila smelling tale between my legs.
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